Earlier this summer I had the opportunity to travel through Europe. While there, I loved visiting the old cathedrals each with their unique styles and architecture. Each one had a story to tell of the time period, the patron saint, and great sarcophagi of the famous men and women who were interred on the premise. My favorite cathedral had to be St. Paul’s in London. I loved the grandeur of the clean open space, the light that illuminated the interior, the reverent feeling that it conveyed. I liked how the tombs were kept below in the crypt. Many grand tributes and lavish tombstones were made to remember the deceased, but my favorite was the tribute made to Sir Christopher Wren, the architect of the building. On a plain unornamented stone was simply inscribed, “Underneath is laid the builder of this church and city, Sir Christopher Wren, who lived more than 90 years, not for himself alone, but for the public good. Reader, if you seek his monument look around you.”

I wondered what “monuments” might I leave behind, what will be my life’s work?

There have been great monuments erected throughout the ages which call our attention to heroic deeds, epic events, and great men and women. The most touching to me are of those men and women who served humanity at great sacrifice.

I think of another humble tombstone inconspicuously adorned for many years in a cornfield in Virginia. On it was simply inscribed: “Mary, The Mother of Washington.” Thirty-seven years after her death, a monument was erected to honor her. President Andrew Jackson extended the address, of part, which reads:

Tradition says that the character of Washington was aided and strengthened, if not formed, by the care and precepts of his mother, and in tracing the recollections that can be gathered of her principles and conduct, it is impossible to avoid the conviction that these were closely interwoven with the destiny of her son. He possessed an unerring judgment, great probity of purpose, high moral principles, perfect self-possession, untiring application, an inquiring mind, seeking information from every quarter, and arriving at its conclusions with a full knowledge of the subject; and he added to these an inflexibility of resolution which nothing could change but a conviction of error. Look back at the life and conduct of his mother – and these will be found admirably adopted to form and develop the elements of such a character.1

I have in my library an old book entitled Happy Homes and the Hearts that Make Them, printed in the late nineteenth century. From it I quote:

Whatever may be the efficiency of schools, the examples set in our homes must always be of vastly greater influence in forming the characters of our future men and women. The home is the crystal of society – the nucleus of national character; and from that source, be it pure or tainted, issue the habits, principles, and maxims which govern public as well as private life. The nation comes from the nursery.2 (bold added)

There is a feeling in our nation today that something significant is “in the wind.” America, the home of the free, is under attack. We are faced with problematic issues such as health care, education, the propriety of stem-cell research, rampant disease, and the modern definition of marriage, to name a few. The world mentality has grown from nationalism to globalism. There is uncertainty as to what this trend will mean for our future. Is this a positive move bringing the world together as one family? Could this ever take place given diverse, long established cultural and religious differences? Is this a move to Utopia, or is this a plot of scheming corporations and governments to gain more power and control over our lives? Given the heated controversy over these issues and global concerns, it seems that it would take a miracle to be able to resolve them.

That our generation will face significant trials is expected. Books have been published, cycles have been predicted, and even prophets have prophesied on this subject. History is proof that every generation faces challenges, and historically every fourth generation faces challenges of such magnitude that impact the world’s status quo.3 This is where we and our children find ourselves in the timeline of history. How exciting! We have the grand opportunity to stand in the ranks with Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, John and Abigail Adams, George Washington, and Joan of Arc, as well as other great men and women throughout history who had the character to rise to meet the crises before them.

Last year at this time, Mrs. Rachel DeMille taught us of the great need for Stateswomen in the twenty-first century. She taught us of the changing mentalities of women’s role throughout history: from the woman walking hand in hand with her husband, being an equal and valued partner, to women who were considered “the weaker sex,” and therefore dominated by her partner, to the emancipated woman who found herself not only equal with her partner but rather in competition with him, no longer hand and hand, but rather meeting him across the corporate board, a complete turn around from our roots.4

To counteract the failure of this “feminist movement,” many women have chosen to have a family and a career, which has left a wake of confusion concerning the roles of women and men, mothers and fathers. Subsequently, children have been left for the state to raise, and a rapid decline of family values, beliefs and morals have been the result.

Many women today have seen the error of this mentality and have courageously decided to return home realizing that only they can give their children that which they need, and that there are indeed many needs for our children. There is a belief that in order to compete in today’s world, to surface above the rest our children must be competitive in school, sports and the arts. We send them to “professionals” specifically trained to teach them. They go to the state for their schooling for the better part of their day, after which there is school or community soccer practice in the evening with scheduled games on the weekends. Then there are music lessons, which require practice every day, with pressure to make a good showing at the semi-annual community performance. Values must be taught, so we send them to Sunday School on Sunday, youth activities each week and many weekends, and Bible camp in the summer.

“Stay at home” mothers today are more stressed out than ever. We have believed that if we focus all of our attention on our children we can counteract the negative trends of the past. In reality, today’s mother has very little time to spend with her child. Between school, sports, lessons, church, and friends all which we believe necessary for our children’s proper development, we have scheduled our children out of our lives. What is the result? Our child sees us focusing our entire lives on them, rather their schedule, frantically racing here and there to keep up, resulting in selfish, self-centered children that think the world is all about them. Even though we have taught them values, many still struggle to live them in today’s confused world, mainly because the few moments in which we might have time to teach these values, let alone exemplify them, cannot compete with the hours that the contrary is displayed in front of them in “real life.”

This finds us in a dilemma. With the reality of great national and global challenges before us, what is our hope for the future if the home and family is an indication of the future of our nation and world, as the quote implies: “the nation comes from the nursery?”

That we have a great need for statesmen and stateswoman is an understatement. But, how is it done? It is our imperative duty “to build men and women of virtue, wisdom, diplomacy and courage, who inspire greatness in others and who move the cause of liberty.”5 That this will not be done on the playground or in the schoolroom or even in the boardroom is a given. The only place that this can possibly occur is in the home. And the primary nurturer of our children is the mother. “But into her care have been entrusted the nation’s future statesmen, those who are soon to be clothed with authority and to make laws for the government of mankind.”6

I believe that the missing factor to our dilemma today is in our misdirected focus. We have thought that the primary focus of mothers is to our children, that “love is the answer.” We think that to love our children will produce loving children who will in turn love and serve one another. To an extent this is true, but it is only part of the equation. The great men and women throughout history all had one thing in common. As diverse as their backgrounds were, as diverse as their financial status, or even their family situations, they all had one thing in common, an undeviating, total dependence and trust in God. Thomas More said, “If you have not chosen the Kingdom of God, it will make in the end no difference what you have chosen instead.”

The need for mothers of the twenty-first century is not just a return to home, but more importantly a return to God. By this I do not mean mere Sabbath Day worship and a daily perusing of sacred writ; for it is much deeper than that. I am talking about a return to a personal relationship with Deity! It is a return to home in order to focus on Him and to lead our children to Him. For those who have learned to put their lives in His hands can work miracles, or should I say, can have the power to take on the challenges that are laid before them.

Consider Judith, a young Hebrew widow in ancient times. Her people were about to be besieged by the dreaded army of the Assyrians. Holofernes the captain of the enemy, was formidable. Holofernes was warned about an attack on these Israelites that unless they were enticed to turn from their God that he would not succeed. Arrogant and undeterred, he planned his attack. His strategy was to gain control of the water supply and force the Israelites into submission. In this he was effective. The Israelites were no match to defend themselves against his troops, and without water they would not survive the week. The Israelite leadership accepted defeat and chose to submit to his authority within the five-day period proscribed and live, rather than perish a cruel death by thirst.

Judith upon learning of the submission to the enemy boldly stood and called them to repent. She asserted that there submission was mislaid, rather than submit to the enemy shouldn’t they rather submit to God who had miraculously saved them so many times before? She plead with them “As you know, that what I have been able to say is of God, so that which I intend to do, prove ye if it be of God, and pray that God shall strengthen my design.” She knew that the task was laid before her. How could one woman take on the undefeatable army of the Assyrians? A miracle was required. Judith had become familiar with miracles.

Judith was armed with all that was necessary. She was a woman of virtue, wisdom, beauty and grace, fortified with complete faith in her God. Because of these qualities she was not denied access to the enemy’s camp. They admired her and said to one another: “There is not such another woman upon earth, in look, in beauty, and in sense of words.” She soon found herself in the graces of Holofernes himself who was most taken by her presence. In a moment of privacy between the two, Judith was able to obtain the head of Holofernes. Says the holy record: “One Hebrew woman hath made confusion in the house of King Nebuchodonosor; for behold Holoferenes lieth upon the ground, and his head is not upon him.” She alone had struck down the formidable foe. A miracle! Her action gave courage to the Israelites and struck fear into the troops of the enemy, ending the siege and bringing safety to her people.7

Many of us instinctively feel that we each have a purpose and a place in this world. James Russell Lowell said, “No man is ever born into the world whose work is not born with him. Everyone has a job to be done which he is supposed to do and which he can do better than anyone else in the world.”8

Somehow women have mistakenly come to believe an erroneous idea that motherhood is supposed to look a certain way. That to be a good mother we are to stay at home, keep a clean house, semi-clean children, read daily from the family Bible, bake cookies, and join the PTA. You get the picture. I have come to realize that this may not be the case. C.E. Sargent, author of Our Home stated: “The highest need of human society today is a bold and fearless spirit of individuality.”9 We are not like the cookies we bake, cast out of the same mold. What a great time to be alive! What responsibility is ours as women! Each of us is an individual, and as such our roles in society will be different.

It has been my observation that we as women are ruthless at attacking one another. If someone does something that is not the norm, ridicule and gossip ensues. Shame on us!!! When we scorn someone for being different, we are confining not only them, but even ourselves to mediocrity. Albert Einstein said, “Great spirits will always encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds.” Let us embrace and applaud each others differences. Motherhood will not look the same to every woman. Her culture, her education, her passions may take her on different paths than our own, as well they should, for we each play a significant and vital part as we follow our mission, our unique work to which we are born.

It is my belief that one of the greatest works that women can do is to join in partnership with her spouse and with Deity to bring children into this world. Children are a gift from God. They come with the privilege and the solemn responsibility to work with Him to help them be prepared to take their place in the world, and the greatest, and in fact the only way to help them to do this is through example. A favorite quote: “People may talk and never teach until they practice what they preach.”

I think of Marie Curie. She had a unique work and passion. At the time of her birth Poland was under Russian rule. At school, Marie studied under an atmosphere of oppression and intimidation. The students were forced to learn Russian and to never speak their native tongue. All Polish books were destroyed; anyone who dared to defy the authority would be sent to Siberia or executed.

Brought up in a home environment centered on both religion and education, Marie was not intimidated by the oppressive rule to serve her fellow man. She was bright and determined. As a young girl she would read Polish literature to the women who worked in a dressmaker’s shop. Later while working as a governess in the country, she defied the Tsarist rule and started a secret school to teach the children how to read and write in their Polish dialect. When possible, she attended an underground university where each student would take turns teaching subjects in their native tongue. It was there that she first felt her call to study science. It was not until years later that Marie was able to go to France to further her study and research.

Much is known of Marie Curie’s contribution to humanity through her discovery of radium. Not much is mentioned of her as a mother. That her father-in-law helped to watch her children while she and her husband undertook their research may be shocking to those who are adamant about the picture of what a mother should be. But this would be a disservice to Marie, for she was as attentive to her children as she was to her research and responsibilities as a wife. Her husband worked right along beside her and always offered his full support. Both Curie men supported her in her studies, as she was one of only two women at the time working on their doctorate degrees in Europe. It is interesting to note that Marie kept three journals; a baby’s notebook, her lab reports, and her household accounts.

Dissatisfied with the rigid public education system in France, Marie established a private cooperative school for her children. Ten children from six professors’ families joined. Each family agreed to contribute a class each week teaching such subjects as literature, art, science, mathematics, English, German, and of course Marie taught physics. How would you like to have been in her co-op class?

What was the impact of her teaching and example?

Irene, her eldest daughter developed the same love for science and mathematics as her mother had. As a young teenage girl, Irene spent weeks working alone in a field hospital a few kilometers from the front during World War I. She was in charge of teaching the hospital staff how to X-ray the wounded for shrapnel and fractures. One of her most challenging jobs was convincing military surgeons that X-rays and geometry could save lives. One young Belgian army surgeon was searching in vain for shrapnel in the mangled flesh of a young soldier. Pointing to an X-ray of the leg, Irene calmly observed that, according to the logic of three-dimensional geometry, the doctor should enter the patient from another angle. When the surgeon finally took her advice, he immediately located the shrapnel.

Irene spent her eighteenth birthday alone within earshot of artillery fire. Her mother had not hesitated to leave her teenage daughter alone at the front. Irene recalled later: “My mother had no more doubts about me than she doubted herself.” Following in her mother’s footsteps, it is interesting to note that Irene was also awarded a Nobel Peace Prize for her service and contribution to science.

Marie Curie was blessed with the tenacity of spirit and the support of her loved ones to serve others and to pursue her passion, while still raising and influencing her daughters.10

And yet another example of a good mother with courage to follow a unique work.

Ellis Reynolds Shipp was raised amid the hardships and trials of pioneer life. Recognizing the demands of her young children on her time, yet with a strong resolve to serve others and to educate herself, Ellis resolved to arise at four each morning for three hours of personal study. She studied many subjects, but her particular interest was medicine.

While raising her family, her religious leader declared: “The time has come for women to come forth as doctors in these valleys of the mountains.” (Definitely not the norm in the nineteenth century!) Ellis accepted the call with her husband’s encouragement. She writes in her journal dated November 10, 1875: “What a strange fatality! This morning I start for Philadelphia to attend Medical College.”

Ellis reluctantly left her husband with their young sons and boarded a train for the East. Arriving in Philadelphia, she began a vigorous study of anatomy and medicine. In the spring her husband Bard came to visit her, finding her exhausted from the strain of study and the separation from her family. He convinced her to return home for the summer, which she did, allowing her husband and children to care for her health.

The following fall found her again with the agonizing decision to return to school, leave her family in financial difficulty, and endure the hardships of intensive study. What added to the difficulty was the realization that she was again pregnant. Not unaccustomed to hardship, and with an intense desire to serve others, Ellis determined to return to her studies. Because of the financial stress, Ellis lived on meager rations, just enough to get by. This lonely, and I’m sure hormonal mother, was deeply touched when in the mail she found a precious letter from one of her sons. Enclosed with his letter were a pressed flower and a dollar bill he had earned.

Ellis desperately prayed that she would have the strength to finish her classes before her baby was born. On May 25, 1877, Ellis gave birth to a baby girl, one day after finishing her exams. She writes in her journal: “It is to me the crowning joy of a woman’s life to be a mother.”

Upon finishing her medical training, Ellis returned home to her family to begin her service. “Thus began the happiest hours of my life,” she wrote. Her family joined her in her work, offering to help out where needed. The boys helped to tend their little sister, clean the house, and deliver messages. She wrote:

However, in this initial period one of my first resolves, my very first, was to do my duty to my home, my husband, my children. Another purpose was ever to be efficient in my medical work and to give to all my patients, the rich and the poor, an equal share of professional skill regardless of remuneration. I gained the wondrous blessings of seeing my patients become normal under my watch care. I know ‘twas not of me, but through the touch of One Divine, upon whose mighty arm I leaned.

Through her service, Dr. Ellis Reynolds Shipp was able to help thousands of people, successfully combining motherhood and a medical practice. Each of her children were educated, four of them receiving advanced degrees. Her eldest son carried on her noble work, as he in turn blessed the lives of others through medicine.11

I am not saying that we are to ignore our children while we as women pursue our personal ambition. I am in no way implying that we are to find a career. Marie Curie and Ellis Reynolds-Shipp did not follow a career; they followed a personal passion, a sense of their individual duty. Mark the difference! In their own unique way they were able to teach their children as well as themselves.

Unlike those who are pursuing personal ambition through a career, most philanthropic work is done by those who have a sense of duty. It seems to be by divine providence that this “duty” or life’s work is found. It seems to be simple, ordinary occurrences that become the defining moments in our lives when we find our purpose.

Sarah Martin, orphaned at a young age was brought up under the influence of her grandmother; she was taught to earn her living by becoming a dressmaker. In 1819 a woman was tried and sentenced to imprisonment for cruelly beating her child. Her crime became the talk of the town. Sarah had often felt compelled to visit the inmates of the jail, reading the scriptures to them, and endeavoring to lead them back to society whose laws they had violated. This event furthered her desire, and she could not resist the impulse to visit the imprisoned mother. Upon her first request to enter the prison, she was refused, but she persisted until she gained admittance and was directed to the culprit. When Sarah told the mother the motive for her visit, the woman burst into tears and thanked her. Those tears and thanks shaped the whole course of Sarah Martin’s life. While continuing to maintain herself by her needle, she began to spend her leisure hours in visiting the prisoners and endeavoring to alleviate their condition. She became their chaplain and schoolmistress, for at that time they had neither; she read to them and taught them to read and write. She also taught them skills, the women to knit and to sew, and the men to make straw hats, caps, cotton shirts and even patchwork, anything to keep them from idleness and from preying on their own thoughts. The sale of these items allowed her to create a fund, which in turn allowed them to apply for work upon their discharge; thus enabling them again to begin an honest life.12

In all of the stories that I have shared, we have seen how the influence of character can shape the world around us, not only through our contributions as we pursue our work, but also in the way our example empowers our children, our grandchildren, and all those within the sphere of our influence to do the same.

Mothers of the twenty-first century must possess the qualities needed to help ourselves and our children tackle the challenges of these unstable times. Like the great men and women, statesmen before us who rose to meet seemingly overwhelming concerns in their day, the stateswomen of the twenty-first century must be prepared to do the same. The saying goes, “Success comes when preparation and opportunity meet.” Now is the time to prepare, we must prepare. May I suggest:

Six Things Every Mother Should Do To Prepare for Statesmanship.

1. Know Who You Are, and Be What You Know.

   The three great questions of the last century seemed to be: “Who am I? Where did I come from? and, Where am I going?” There were many on a quest to “find themselves.” C.S. Lewis wrote, “We are taught as children to notice how the perfect oak grows from the acorn, and we forget that the acorn itself was dropped by a perfect oak.” An ancient Chinese text says: “One who knows others is intelligent. One who knows himself is enlightened.”13 The most important aspect of knowing who we are, is knowing more accurately “whose” we are. As a Christian, I know: “I am a daughter of God!” My Hindu friend says “I am His/Her creation!” Whatever terminology we use, the concept is the same, that we have divine origins and as such we have a responsibility to “be what we know.”

   In his great work, Democracy in America, Alexis de Tocqueville examined the impact of democracy on our new nation. He attributed to a large degree the success of democracy on the women, that the women’s role was distinctly different than that of her spouse, and that she was honored and revered as a huge contributor to the success of the state. Our founding mothers were not trying to “find themselves,” or doubting what their roles as women were, they knew their divine responsibilities were as a wives and mothers, and to render service to those in need, and as such she exemplified and magnified her part.

   As women in the twenty-first century we must:

   • Know who we are, or rather “whose we are.” Our primary relationship is with our Creator. This is our most significant relationship, and one that we must cultivate.
   • Our second most important relationship is with our spouse, not as an inferior role, but as an equal and distinctly different and valued partner.
   • Third, is our significant role as a mother. As women, mothers or not, our primary role is to be the guardian of the home and the protector of morals. The best way to do this is through our instruction and example.


2. Gain all the education you can.

   What is the purpose of having a great education? I am often asked what I plan to do with my degree. Will I become a substitute teacher, or am I looking for a profession to contribute to our income? That this is what a woman’s education has come to mean, to me, is very distressing. Two centuries ago de Tocqueville indicated that both a woman’s religious belief and her education were indispensable to the nation. Just over one century ago it was said:

   If, as we hold to be the case, the moral condition of a people mainly depends upon the education of the home, then the education of women is to be regarded as a matter of national importance. Not only does the moral character but the mental strength of man find its best safeguard and support in the moral purity and mental cultivation of woman; but the more completely the powers of both are developed, the more harmonious and well-ordered will society be – the more safe and certain its elevation and advancement.14

   The purpose of education for women should not be about obtaining a career or a way to pass the time when our children are gone. The purpose of education is so that we can be the best wives, mothers, women possible to have the means by which we can accomplish our divine purpose!

3. Schedule back our family time.

   It is the woman’s role to be the guardian of the home and the protector of morals, not the State, not the Coach, nor even the Church. Those may be good helps, but when they become the predominate influence, we have forfeited our divine responsibility. It is not just about being home that counts. How much of our time do we actually spend with our children? If it is not of a significant time and/or quality, than we will not have a significant impact. Yet, remember that the way this looks for you and your family may be different than mine.

4. Replace doubt and fear with faith and hard work.

   I am reminded of one last story. It is a story that my mother used to read to me. It is about a woman who was called in to calm a riot that had broken out in a women’s penitentiary. This was during the time of segregation; the riot was more of a demonstration by the black women prisoners. Butcher knives and cleavers were the weapons of the day, defying anyone to go in to their dormitory to restore order. Having a desire to peaceably settle the crisis, the warden of the prison called Ruth South to the task, recognizing in her the one needed quality that she possessed, faith in a higher power. Here she was, one frail white girl daring to take on a gang of hostile black women. She was warned that she was not to show any fear and that she would be locked into their dorm for forty-eight hours. Miss South knew that she was not enough to handle the situation. Drawing on every nerve she had along with the fact that she would not go in alone, she entered the dorm. It came to her to ask the women if they could teach her how to “truck,” the dance step of the day, steps so complex that it made the Charleston look like a waltz. At first the women were hesitant; then they began to hand off their butcher knives for others to hold while the women took turns to dance with her, the rest forming a circle around them. She relays: “We caught on – the Lord and I – and we trucked so truckingly that the girls fought for turns to dance with us. To keep them thoroughly diverted until they were all exhausted, we took them on, one at a time, and danced until they could dance no longer.” Worn out the women soon fell into bed, Miss South had just enough energy to tuck them in. The riot was over.15

   I have often thought of this story when I feel that I am to do something that seems beyond my ability. I remember Miss South and I say a little phrase: (in my vernacular,) “It’s you and me Lord.” He has never let me down, if I will work hard to do all within my power.

5. Prepare to be tested.

   Stateswomen of the twenty-first century may, and in fact most likely will undergo serious opposition. It is in the heat of the furnace that greatness is born. Victor Hugo in his immortal book Les Misérables said: “...privation gives birth to power of soul and mind; distress is the nurse of self-respect; misfortune gives good milk for great souls.”16 (bold added)

   Dr. DeMille has taught: “To be good is to do the right thing. To be great is to do the right thing when it is incredibly hard.”

6. Prepare to witness miracles.

   An army quelled, new discoveries made, births delayed, convicts reclaimed, contentions calmed, and a new nation is formed; have we the need of these type of miracles today?

   Like the knobcone pine, the seeds of which lay dormant until a time of intense heat, so too may be our lives, pleasantly tranquil and undisturbed, but if the times should become intense, if we should be called upon to perform a great work, whether that be in our family, community, nation or world, if we have prepared ourselves, and our children through our example, we can have the opportunity to witness the miraculous as well. In fact, we can find the miraculous in our lives every day if we will look for it.

   Mother! Your life is not insignificant. It is not and cannot be isolated from universal significance, for your boy shall bear it into the great tide that never ebbs. The story of the fireside is written upon the altars of great cathedrals, in senate chambers, and in the busy mart.”17

In the tribute to Mary Washington at the time of the dedication of her monument. The poet writes to every mother:

...Ye who stand
With thrilling breast and kindly cheek this morn,
Viewing the tribute that Virginia pays
To the blest mother of her glorious chief;
Ye whose last thought upon your mighty couch,
Whose first at waking is your cradled son –
What though no dazzling hope aspire to rear
A second Washington – or leave your name
Wrought out in marble, with your country’s tears
Of deathless gratitude – yet may ye raise
A monument above the stars – a soul
Led by your teachings and your prayers to God!18

The greatest monument a mother may have cannot be made of brick or stone, but the souls of her children, led by her teachings, example and prayers – to God. For a child turned to God will perform miracles!