This lecture was
originally given at the 1st Annual Alumni and Friends Gala
in conjunction with the GWCAn abbreviation of George Wythe University (formerly George Wythe College), a private liberal arts college headquartered in Cedar City, Utah, which Dr. Oliver DeMille helped found, and where he formerly served as president. There are also plans underway for building a much larger campus in Monticello, Utah, and plans have also been announced for a remote campus in Alberta, Canada. 2004 Commencement Ceremonies.
There is a widespread myth that feminism came about in the 20th Century,
that—along with Civil Rights and Environmentalism—feminism is one
of our great modern advances. The truth is that feminism has a
much earlier origin.
Adam and Eve left the Garden hand in hand, and as you might recall their
leaving was not just Adam’s doing. Nor did Eve walk six paces behind, or
even one. They walked together. Ancient feminism, started by the initiative of
Eve, and spurred on in the East by Taoist thought of Yin and Yang, and in West
by the Odysseus-Penelope tradition, has one focused objective: the maintenance
of the marriage union. In all three traditions equality was never in question,
and the feminine provided spark, spice and initiative.
In the ancient stories it is woman who takes this initiative, woman who teaches
that all other vows in society are only as strong as the marriage vow, woman
who instills steel in young hearts—hearts which will not bend to
temptation or loose traditions.
It is ironic then that modern feminism has attacked the marriage vows, pushing
for religious, traditional and even legal approval of breaking them, of
disconnecting us from each other, of replacing wholeness with individual
license.
Eve didn’t need to be emancipated. Only where the marriage vows fail is
there domination of male or female.
Where Eve epitomizes this role of marital oneness, Sarah and Abraham include
children into the Whole. Thus oneness is not just a marriage, but a family.
Again, Sarah takes a primary role in this story, especially during their most
trying times in Egypt. Her role reaches climax when she is reunited with
husband in Pharoah’s presence. For perhaps the first time in history,
man-made government acknowledges the legality and binding force of marriage.
Now the whole world, as well as God, adds its witness to marriage vows and
promises to treat the children of the union accordingly. This familial union,
broader than marriage, is so essential that barren Sarah approaches Abraham to
bring them children through her handmaid.
Like Eve, Sarah sees generations ahead and takes initiative.
Eve and Sarah are not the cowering ancient woman we’ve been taught to
pity, nor are they brow-beaten slaves of controlling husbands in a world
dominated only by men. They are strong, feminine, worthy of emulation. Even the
worst of them in the record, such as Medusa and Helen, are bad precisely
because of their power—not because of their weakness. And tales of modern
heroines abound and belie the myth of the frailty of the feminine character.
Despite centuries of European convention to the contrary, our American Founding
Mothers knew the truth about women and society, and Tocqueville commented on
the contrast and the quality of feminine strength that so marked our American
culture.
Like the stories of our first matriarchs there are a hundred others: including
Rebecca, Rachel, Penelope, Joan and both Abigails. Together they are the
founders of the West. Their descendents and heirs, Tocqueville’s heroic
pioneer women who carved out homes in the wilderness, walked across the plains,
and taught eight generations of the freest people in history, often while
pregnant or nursing, were no less feminine, no less amazing.
We must be like them.
We owe a debt of gratitude to those pioneering women and include among them
others in more recent times. We tend to gloss over the patronizing contempt
(and often vicious abuse) they endured to retrieve our American culture from
the backward European norm.
It’s obvious to virtually everyone today that women should strive for
excellence without artificial obstacles and that their voice is invaluable in
the Great Debate. And because of the examination of men’s and
women’s roles, we are in a better position to make conscious, informed
choices about how we live and interact. Conservatives in particular are perhaps
a little smug about their power to disagree with radical feminists in the arena
of ideas; it is a discussion that, without the efforts of the
“feminists” would never have taken place (nor any other discussion,
with women being taken seriously).
This being said, the more unfortunate impact of 20th Century feminism is
antithetical to its aims: not strong, amazing women who know the power and
beauty of their mission, but rather women who are doubtful and tentative, even
as they assertively rationalize their insecurities. If they have careers, they
fear they’re missing something. If they are homemakers, they fear
they’re missing something. If married, they’re lectured about
independence; if single, they’re cautioned about it.
This is the legacy of modern feminism—doubt. Not independence. Not
emancipation. Not opportunity. Not equality. Just doubt.
We as women who benefit from the example of our ancient mothers and the
sacrifices of our 18th to 20th century sisters may now take the reins and
define female leadership for our generation and the generations that follow.
But we must correct some of the excesses as well as the failures of last
century’s narrow feminism.
Today there are three major schools of thought on the role and future of women:
Modern Feminism, Reactionary Feminism, and Anti-Feminism.
- Modern Feminism: This teaches that women must be emancipated from male
domination by making women equal to and independent of men. This view was
politically correct from 1965 to 1995, and can be summarized as women giving up
family for career. Nobody but a few diehards still promote this. It is
considered a total failure, mainly because so many of its leading advocates
left their careers to have families.
- Reactionary Feminism: The Generation X and Millennial Generation response
to Modern Feminism. Reactionary Feminism can be summarized as the attempt to
have a family and a career. This view has none of the angst of Modern Feminism,
but it is a source of our national epidemic of doubt. The confusion of the
patriarchal and matriarchal roles is a by-product of this attitude, and
families and relationships are floundering in an atmosphere where neither the
man nor the woman take their rightful roles of leadership.
- Anti-Feminism: Espoused by those who believe that the primary role of women
is to be at home to focus on their immediate children. The magazine articles
and books of young mothers who’ve decided to choose family over career
could fill a library. A particular problem of this philosophy is that women who
do not marry or cannot bear children are left out of the game.
Liberals don’t want to admit it, but Reactionary Feminism and
Anti-Feminism are growing. Conservatives are thrilled with the trend, as more
and more young women choose to have families, but in reality there is a big
problem with this trend. The truth is that many Reactionary and Anti-Feminists,
who tend not to rant against men and who really like being mothers, are still
conflicted. The competing voices have left them doubting, frustrated, wondering
if they missed “what could have been . . . .”
And this is the big lie, the real tragedy of modern feminism. By defining a
controversy between being a fulfilled career woman contributing to society on
the one side, and an unfulfilled, barefoot and pregnant house wife on the
other, Modern Feminism has convinced our generation that women must choose
between home, hearth and family and societal leadership.
The result is that as young women choose home making, they stoically turn
inward, focus on their own family, work on the side or stay home, and wistfully
watch the world move on without them. The tragedy is that many women, and also
men, have believed this lie. What cunning deceit!! Somehow “career”
became a counterfeit for stateswomanship! So women believe they must choose
between their maternal instinct to raise their children well and their feminine
ambition to initiate change and lead worthy causes.
They are convinced that
these are the only two choices—home or career—and that if you
choose home, you must leave the public arena.
So here we are in 2004: the men are often too busy making a living to change
the world, and the women have been convinced that they must either work or
watch from the sidelines. What sad, tragic irony.
This is an illness. What is
needed is a healthy dose of medicine—Historical Feminism—and a
resurgence of natural feminine ambition. Maternal ambition literally changes
the world in ways no career could.
There are at least three ways women must change the world:
First, it takes a mother to raise a village. For me, a mother is any adult
woman who mentors youth, who helps them grow into contributing, happy adults.
There are as many ways to get involved as there are women, but all of us must
do it. And the marital or maternal status of a women has nothing to do with her
fully participating in this mission.
There is a power that women bring to the table, the power of shaping a
community—of changing its very heart—a power that lasts for
generations, not just between elections.
This power is best expressed by the
woman who sets out to raise her great grandchildren. At first this seems
obvious. A woman who raises her own children successfully will of course have
direct and indirect impact on her grandchildren and a wonderful influence on
her great-grandchildren. But this is only the start.
Every great-grandchild is directly raised by twelve people. There are others
who will influence the child, but twelve who directly raise, mentor, teach,
lead, counsel and help the child reach adulthood. The power of womanhood is to
directly train all twelve of these people, so that when her great-grandchild is
raised, he or she is raised correctly and well.
The twelve people are the great-grandchild’s:
- father
- mother
- grandfather
- grandmother
- grandpa
- granny
- uncle
- aunt
- rabbi (church leader)
- teacher
- friend
- mayor (government)
These are the twelve most influential people on the life of your perhaps yet
unborn great-grandchild. And if you don’t raise them right, who will?
What an incredible challenge! Our role as women is to raise these twelve people
right!
No elected official can do all this, no judge, no senator, no CEO, no high
school principal, no Hollywood executive, no media mogul or Federal Reserve
banker. No President or Pope can do this. They just aren’t powerful
enough. No matter how successful such men or women may be in their sphere, they
don’t have the power to raise these twelve people effectively. No
constitution, law or policy has such power, but every woman has it, is born
with it, can reach deep down inside and bring it to the surface, can spend her
life doing it.
If this seems overwhelming, welcome to womanhood.
Thank goodness for husbands who provide love and support, and the necessities
of life, so we have a real chance of success in this incredibly daunting task.
Fortunately, while husbands each provide for one family, using all their effort
and focus, women can organize together, divide the task for training these
twelve people and work in closely bonded teams—all toward the same goal.
What are you doing to raise these twelve people? Of course, some of them are
your own children. This is the primary area of your focus. And womanhood
requires us to effectively train all twelve of these people. Our
great-grandsons and granddaughters desperately depend upon our success.
So here is the great flaw in Reactionary and Anti-Feminism—one says women
should be like men, the other says that women should focus only on their
immediate children. The first is wrong and the second is too narrow. Women have
power over generations—and we must use this power or see others usurp and
misuse it. In our modern world the void left by women who don’t magnify
this power is being filled by government. Shame on us for that!
Raising these twelve people requires us to take action beyond the walls of our
own homes. This is the role of women. Our most important work takes place in
our homes, and our vital mission expands from within those walls to raising
these twelve people. What a task is womanhood! What a mission is motherhood!
Whether you are married or single, in a career or not, every women must raise
these twelve. For those women who have careers, for whatever reason, exerting
this power may be more challenging. But it will take all we have to give,
regardless of our status. And it will be worth it.
Second, your education is your most valuable asset. I don’t mean this in
the narrow sense of education, and I certainly don’t mean formal diplomas
or degrees. But you can’t exert more power than you have, and to
successfully train the twelve people women must raise, we need all the power we
can muster. Education includes our whole heart, and our whole
mind—everything we have and all we are. We should never stop improving
who we are, our hearts and our minds. With all that hangs in the balance, no
woman can settle for anything but the very best education.
Third, raising children is the thing that changes the world the most. Everybody
knows this, but Modern Feminism has convinced us that it’s cliché,
even patronizing. Eve didn’t think so, nor did Sarah.
Raising children
and mentoring the next generation is the most important thing we can do to
change the world. It is the primary role of all women and all men, married or
single. It is who we are. It is why we were born. We must train up the leaders
of the future with confidence, power and grace. We must deliver. We must
achieve results. We are the stateswomen of the 21st Century. If we fail, the
world will fail. If we shrink, hesitate, or doubt, precious time will be lost.
We are the leaders of today. Our choices and our actions are the most important
choices and actions occurring in the world today.
Now, the most important thing I have to say: You Can Do It!
Every woman in this room, every woman who reads this, has the power to do it.
If you never have biological children of your own, you’ll still train
your great grandchildren—a whole generation who will be your heirs,
impacted by your choices and how you train their twelve. They depend on you.
Don’t let them down. If you are a woman, you have the power to do it. It
will depend on your choices.
Consider Abigail Adams, in November of 1775. The great historian Bancroft wrote
that she: “was at her home near the foot of Penn Hill charged with the
sole care of her little brood of children; managing their farm; keeping house
with frugality . . . opening her doors to the houseless and giving with good
will a part of her scant portion to the poor; seeking work through her own
hands and ever busily occupied, now at the spinning-wheel . . . learning French
. . . with the aid of books alone. . . . She herself was still very weak after
a violent illness; her house was a hospital in every part . . . . Her youngest
son had been rescued from the grave by her nursing. Her mother had been taken
away and, after the austere manner of her forefathers, buried without prayer.
Winter was hurrying on; during the days family affairs took all her attention,
but her long evenings, broken by the sound of the storm on the ocean, or the
enemy’s artillery on Boston, were lonesome and melancholy. Ever in the
silent night, ruminating on the love and tenderness of her departed parent, she
needed the consolation of her husband’s presence; but when she had read
the King’s proclamation she willingly gave up her nearest friend . . . to
his perilous duties and sent him her cheering message . . . ‘I could not
join to-day in the petition of our worthy pastor for a reconciliation [with
Great Britain]. Let us renounce them; and instead of supplications, as
formerly, for their prosperity, let us beseech the Almighty to blast their
counsels and bring naught to all their devices.’”
It is tempting to note that shortly after reading this her husband rose in the
Continental Congress and swayed the entire body away from reconciliation and
toward revolution. It is tempting to note that her elder son watched her
closely during this time, and in addition to her tutoring he felt something
like fine steel grow within his breast—something that would not bend, and
with him a nation would stand firm. It is tempting to remember that this same
son would be torn from her gentle tutoring at age 13 to serve with distinction
as America’s ambassador to Russia. It is tempting to see her standing on
Penn Hill, watching the cannon threaten her home at the base yet writing:
“The cannonade is from our army, and the sight is one of the grandest in
nature . . .”
In short, it is tempting to see Abigail in her support role and admire that.
But to do so would be to misunderstand Abigail. No doubt she would prefer to be
understood this way, but to know Abigail Adams one must turn their attention to
the steel in Abigail’s eyes in these trying moments. She took action. She
moved the cause of liberty. Because of her actions and decisions her great
grandchildren stood free still.
Today their great granddaughters, eight generations later, stand doubtful. They
wonder at their roles, they debate and decide and reconsider. They speak of
“how hard it is.” They vacillate.
Our daughters must not do the same, nor our granddaughters. That means that we
must make the change.
The women of today must unconditionally and without apology adopt the full role
of womanhood, the glory of maternal ambition, and set out to raise twelve
people right. If we succeed, America will succeed. And the world will succeed.
But if we fail . . .
We will not fail.
Of women today, Steel is needed. Unbending. Beautiful. And, as Eve, Sarah, and
Abigail before us, today’s women must turn steel into gold. The
following poem was written of the pioneers by Vilate Raile.
It must also be written of every woman here today:
They cut desire into short lengths
And fed it to the hungry fires of courage.
Long after—when the flames had died—
Molten Gold gleamed in the ashes.
They gathered it into bruised palms
And handed it to their children
And their children's children.
Thank you.