I need help. I am, as I have stated before, just starting Home Schooling my children. I love the tjedRefers generally to the concepts presented in the book A Thomas Jefferson Education, written by Dr. Oliver DeMille. We also have an Introduction to Thomas Jefferson Education available elsewhere on this site. method and I want to fully submurge our family in it. My biggest problim is my Husband. He knows very little about tjedRefers generally to the concepts presented in the book A Thomas Jefferson Education, written by Dr. Oliver DeMille. We also have an Introduction to Thomas Jefferson Education available elsewhere on this site. and yet has already decided that it is to poen and does not have enough structure because i am not given a specific structure and lesson plans and so on. He wants to bring the conveor belt schooling in to the home. He wants a set schedule with goals already put into place. I just dont see that as a benifiate to our children. He says that the public school system worked for him so it should work for our children too. He understands that i want to teach them but I have to teach like the public school teaches. That is not what I want for our children. I have tried to tell him to buy the book and to study and actualy give tjedRefers generally to the concepts presented in the book A Thomas Jefferson Education, written by Dr. Oliver DeMille. We also have an Introduction to Thomas Jefferson Education available elsewhere on this site. a chance but he got all mad at me and hung up on me (he is in Iraq right now). I just dont know what to do.
I am a little unsure as to how to set up our days and what is reasonable and not reasonable. I have ready about many scholar children and how they do school each day. Could some of you with younger children like 1st or kindergarden age please let me know how you set up your day. Maybe if I have some examples of parents with children the same age as ours teaching the tjedRefers generally to the concepts presented in the book A Thomas Jefferson Education, written by Dr. Oliver DeMille. We also have an Introduction to Thomas Jefferson Education available elsewhere on this site. method he could see a bit clearer how the day is going to go and that it is structured and that it does work.
Another problim he had was the fact that our children would not have a high school diploma just a ged which he says is not as good as a diploma. I am just not sure how to help him to see the wonderfulness of tjedRefers generally to the concepts presented in the book A Thomas Jefferson Education, written by Dr. Oliver DeMille. We also have an Introduction to Thomas Jefferson Education available elsewhere on this site.. Please I need lots of help. Thank you!
Marriage first, children second (and don't forget yourself)
I also started doing TJEDRefers generally to the concepts presented in the book A Thomas Jefferson Education, written by Dr. Oliver DeMille. We also have an Introduction to Thomas Jefferson Education available elsewhere on this site. while my dh was in Iraq, about four years ago. We had been homeschooling six years at that time and had discovered that for us, public school at home would not work. We had already been through one-subject-per-day-each-week, unit studies, curriculum workbooks, and had come to Charlotte Mason methods. We had been through moving while homeschooling, pregnancy while homeschooling, nursing while homeschooling, illness while homeschooling, clinical depression while homeschooling, and discovered that (fanfare) you cannot stop children from learning. There is no way to prevent them from learning if you put books and craft supplies and science materials in front of them. There is no way to prevent them from learning even if you keep all books and everything with text away from them, even if you have no craft supplies and no paper and no pencils.
Children will learn. Will they learn the same things? Maybe not. Will they learn the same way? No. But they will pick up on whatever is important to you, because that's what they see you doing.
Your dh is not here. He is still the leader of your family and you need to keep a good relationship with him. So pray, learn what TJEDRefers generally to the concepts presented in the book A Thomas Jefferson Education, written by Dr. Oliver DeMille. We also have an Introduction to Thomas Jefferson Education available elsewhere on this site. is about, learn what homeschooling is about, set up good routines for waking and sleeping and meals, set times to study your core classic yourself and with your children, and set up housekeeping routines (delegate to your children as much of their selfcare as you can, and give them specific responsibilities to help you with the house and yard so that you don't go nuts trying to do it all yourself). Then set specific days and times for you to get a break from your children: get a babysitter and get away, or send them to someone else's house and you stay home (either will work and both are helpful).
None of these things (the above list) should be a bone of contention between you, since he's there and can't help you around the house, and you're here and can't leave the children with him when you need time out.
After all this, then do educational things. Your dh may feel inspired to require a canned curriculum to start. That way you will have a lot of decisions made for you, so that you can spend time with your children instead of agonizing over which books to read. It may be a good idea to start with school-type workbooks from Wal-Mart; let each child choose, say, four pages to do each day. If the child gets to choose which pages, that won't be quite so painful, and if the workbook only has educational things in it, your dh is less likely to say, they didn't do schoolwork.
You implied that your children are young, elementary school age. In that case, I'd advise looking at Amblesideonline.com. They have a free canned curriculum along the lines of Charlotte Mason, which fits really really well with Thomas Jefferson Education in Core Phase and early Love of Learning Phase. You may find this fits your dh's requirements, once he's had a chance to look at it, too.
Let him know some of what you're doing, but don't gripe to him. Do Not Complain to him. Complain to your mom or your friend or to me; don't complain to him because he can't help other than to say, There, there. He can't even pat your back! And there are things happening to him that he's not allowed to tell you until after he returns. He has stresses of his own. Be all love and support to him and gripe to us on this board; we want you to succeed and we've been through it.
If you complain to him while he's gone, about how hard homeschooling is and how the house looks a wreck, he may put his foot down and want children back in public school. So be careful what you say and what you write to him. He may have insights into how to persuade children to obey, but still be cautious about how you phrase things.
And... don't wait for dh to buy his own copy of _A Thomas Jefferson Education_. Buy him one and send it to him. The worst he could do is not read it (that's what my dh did; I found the unopened book in his return luggage). :D
Just a few thoughts...
Dear Friend,
Have you heard the Core and Love of Learning seminar CDs?
In that seminar, Rachel DeMille answered a question someone had about "getting their husband on board." Her answer was very profound for me, as I'm sure it was for many:
No "method" curriculum, or learning style should EVER come before a couple's marriage. If there is a disagreement, the short answer is "Work on your marriage." The even shorter answer is "Work on YOU."
Just today, I heard Dr. Shanon Brooks share a story about a lady whose husband hated the whole homeschooling idea, and absolutely refused to allow it. She was devastated and did not know what to do. He advised her to stop trying to change her husband's mind, and to start changing herself. So, with her own money, this lady quietly and privately took Distance Studies classes from GWCAn abbreviation of George Wythe University (formerly George Wythe College), a private liberal arts college headquartered in Cedar City, Utah, which Dr. Oliver DeMille helped found, and where he formerly served as president. There are also plans underway for building a much larger campus in Monticello, Utah, and plans have also been announced for a remote campus in Alberta, Canada., and focused on her own education.
Eighteen months passed, and this lady called Dr. Brooks with a wonderful story. Her husband, one night while they were talking, asked her what was different-- what was it about her that had changed. He liked the change, and was trying to account for what had done it. She told him he might not like the answer, but he insisted.
She then shared with him what she had been doing-- that she had been working on herself using "that TJEdRefers generally to the concepts presented in the book A Thomas Jefferson Education, written by Dr. Oliver DeMille. We also have an Introduction to Thomas Jefferson Education available elsewhere on this site. thing." because of her example, and the humble way she had gone about changing herself, he agreed that homeschooling their kids using TJEdRefers generally to the concepts presented in the book A Thomas Jefferson Education, written by Dr. Oliver DeMille. We also have an Introduction to Thomas Jefferson Education available elsewhere on this site. would be a great thing to do.
!!!
As for your situation, at least your husband has consented to you bringing them home. Even if you must use a "canned curriculum," you CAN do it in a TJEdRefers generally to the concepts presented in the book A Thomas Jefferson Education, written by Dr. Oliver DeMille. We also have an Introduction to Thomas Jefferson Education available elsewhere on this site. way. As long as you apply the Seven Keys, and focus on YOURSELF changing, miracles can happen.
Just put yourselves in your husband's shoes, and try to understand his concerns and fears. Then support him, and come to your children as a unified front, even though he is so far away.
THE RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE WITH YOUR HUSBAND IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN DOING TJEDRefers generally to the concepts presented in the book A Thomas Jefferson Education, written by Dr. Oliver DeMille. We also have an Introduction to Thomas Jefferson Education available elsewhere on this site. RIGHT NOW.
Pray that his heart might be softened, and pray to have help with your children, but then do your best to follow his wishes, and be a unified couple. God can cause miracles to happen, but you must be willing to meet your husband halfway until then.
Hang in there, and work on YOU. You can do it, and God will bless you, your children, and your marriage for it. :-)
BIG hugs,
Rachel Keppner
"ASPIRE to INSPIRE before you EXPIRE!"
Comment about GED vs. Diploma, as well as HELP!
I want to say that I completely agree with HFWM's and Rachel's comments. Marriage comes first in this instance.
But you might want to let your husband know that the choice is not just between getting either a Diploma or a GED. Many homeschool students successfully enter adult life with neither of these, and many of them actually attend collge. Many colleges recognize homeschool students and do not require either/or in this instance. You can make up your own records of what your child has learned, you can use an accreditted high school distance study program that will offer a diploma, your child can attend Jr. or Community Colleges and enter a full time college as a transfer student, your child may just take the SAT or ACT and use those scores to get into college.
Ask your husband specifically which subjects he is concerned about right now that the kids learn and then find games to play that use these skills. Then you can show him your "curriculum" when you report that you did math today (rolling dice, counting squares on the board game, playing Uno to match numbers, etc.), you did reading (read to them, help them learn their ABC's, etc.), did writing (a cute letter or card to him for example, or three lines in their personal journal), learned about history and geography in the read-a-loud story you are currently working on. You can do fun projects with the kids like a weather station each day, where you put a clip art cloud or sun on the calendar, do art projects together and tell him how they learned about color mixing - make a cute picture to send to daddy so he can see these things, too.
Get the book What Every Kindergartner Needs to Know (they have them for each grade) and use that as a guildeline and write to him what you did each day. Start your own homeschooling journal each night and write down all the educational things you did that day - including learning how to cook, clean, etc. All of life is educational and if you can show him that he may feel better. I like "the unschooling handbook" by Mary Griffith. It helps to show how nearly everything we do can be considered "educational" as well as fun ways to make learning more interesting and less like "school". Then when you talk with him just tell him what educational thing you did lately.
But again, make sure that this isn't a point of contention between you. And I agree that you should not complain to him that it isn't going well. He does not need to hear that right now because he doesn't feel good about this decision as well as because he is in a dangerous place where he has anough worries and because he probably feels helpless being so far away. If you feel you need to include him in something (or he wants to still be thought of as the father of the house - which he is - even though he is far away), just speak about disciplinary issues dealing with chores or something that he wouldn't associate with learning.
Jody
Make a Difference - Change the World