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Sincerely,
Russell Keppner
TJEd.org Administrator
I have been homeschooling my four children ages 9-13 for 4 years. My children were previously public schooled and within those 4 years I have had two of them return to school at their request for a season. I have basically done school-at-home with a little CM mixed in, up until this year. In my mind, nothing was working. All the boys wanted to do was play and I was getting panicky! Every attempt I had made to restore their love of learning that I thought the school snuffed out came to nothing. After reading a few books by John Holt I can understand why now. I have had very high or unrealistic expectations and wrestled with alot of fear. My oldest, a girl, is very self motivated and a visual/auditory learner so I am guessing that is why I perceived some "success" in this journey with her. But the truth is that I have simply coerced and forced learning without understanding the true nature of education at all.
I've been doing alot of reading, observing and seeking with much regret. I would really like to do this the right way. Is it too late to start over? Can and should I start at the Core phase even though they are older? (I really WANT to, I'm just not sure how it is possible!) My husband and I both have ADD and I see traits of it plus a few other LD in my children as well. I have already struggled these 4 years to get some sort of routine just for the sake of my sanity, not even realizing its value for their future development. If it truely is ok to start at Core with such older kids how do you do it when there is so much resistance? ( I need to add that my husband himself craves routine but cannot set one for himself or follow one I set up). I really feel in my heart that we all desperately need reconnection because we've built up so many defences with all the conflict.
Can someone also please highlight for me the differences between unschooling and TJed. Thankyou.
HELP!! Starting at Core with pre-teens?
Everyone needs and has a core, some are a bit more solid than others.
I posted my answer on my blog:
http://donnasjourney.moorhouseacademy.org/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&...
Oops
http://donnasjourney.moorhouseacademy.org/?p=2077
Note: when I followed your
Note: when I followed your link, Donna, it took me to a sign-in page for Wordpress. I had to click on "Back to Donna's Journey" in the top left corner to get to your blog.
The answer to this question is not the top blog post; it's one or two down on the page.
Thanks for the redirection -
Thanks for the redirection - found your answer Donna :) I appreciate your input. You have given me much to think about.
On a side note...while i've been mulling over these things I thought I would just try implimenting a little "family work" in the evenings. I simply asked my children to help out with after dinner clean up, gently reminding them that if we worked together we would be able to have more time together to play a family game or watch a movie together. For the past two evenings I have had their partnership and we have been able to spend more time together before bed. It feels like a good start.
Thankyou for your reply.At
Thankyou for your reply.
At the same time that I found this website I also discovered something called "Core Values". Core values are deeply held beliefs, the principles that you hold to and base your life and decisions on. After reading up on it I can see why our life has felt so empty and aimless. Neither my husband or I know what our core values are. It has made for alot of frustration and conflict. Does the Core phase have anything to do with that? Would discovering our core values be a good place to start for my husband and I? And would a core classic be a set of writings you refer to in strengthening/sharpening the core values that we hold to? Sorry the language on this forum is still so foreign to me. :)
Yes! :D
I'm glad you recognize this in your life. My core values I first learned from my parents, but I still had to decide to make them my own values.
Core Phase is when you learn your core values. It's usually given as about ages 1-8, but you're always learning more about core values and always trying to put them in place. My core tells me to go to bed at an early hour and arise early in the morning and even gives specific blessings for doing so, but I still struggle with doing it. A better idea of Core Phase would be to think of the core of an apple. All the other parts of learning are based on the core, and it's a constant work in progress for all your life.
Yes, you and your husband need to find and decide on your core values. This will also make things easier for your children. You may be tempted to say to your children, "choose your own core", but if you do, they will have no idea where to look except to you and to their peers. Part of the reason you're homeschooling is probably because you don't want them to become like the worst of their peers. So don't throw this decision on your children. You as parents determine the atmosphere of your home; you control what media comes in, you decide whom to spend time with. Your core values affect all these things.
Core values are usually based on a book or group of books that the person considers classic. They could, however, be based on a way of life (martial arts) or a group of beliefs (Native American beliefs). They could even be based on some other work (a painting, the work of a particular artist, music).
A classic is something you can experience over and over again and learn something more every time. Some examples: the Bible, the music of Beethoven, Michelangelo's paintings and sculpture, the practice of traditional karate, gardening.
The United States of America does not have _one_ core classic for a majority of its people; some countries do (Saudi Arabia--the Koran). If you are in the United States, then you have the freedom to choose your own core classic without any interference from others. So take advantage of this freedom and choose.
It doesn't have to be a final decision. You can change your core classic if you find that its principles don't bring you joy, peace, or fulfillment.
I would put in a good word for my core classics, because these books have had a huge positive effect on my life. But this decision is yours; try what seems likely, and if it brings you a long-lasting feeling of peace and opportunity for growth, continue.
It can be done. Yes, begin
It can be done. Yes, begin at Core phase. Start with your core principles, make sure you know them and are trying to apply the principles you're basing your life on (for me these are scriptures; for others they may be other works, such as the Declaration of Independence, or The Lord of the Rings--you choose for yourself). Then start teaching these core principles to your children. It really, really helps if your dear husband has the same or similar core principles that you have; if his are different, you will need to compromise or teach both.
At the same time, set your basic time routines (bedtime, time to get up, mealtimes) and strongly encourage everyone in the household (who is able to) to fit the same routine.
There are a lot of good posts on tjed.org that address what to do and how to do it, so read up. Just know that it's not hopeless. Forgive yourself for your mistakes (I've made lots of mistakes, too). Start over however many times it takes to get it right. My goal is to build children who have integrity and good work habits, as well as compassion and mercy. Set your own goals and stretch for them. You can do it!