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Sincerely,
Russell Keppner
TJEd.org Administrator
hi everyone! I have just recently found TJedu.
We homeschool 3 of our 6 kids. One is not ready for lessons and 2 work out better in public schools, with additional tutoring. I was not happy with the public education- I wanted "more" for them, I always felt like they were turning out conveyor belt people, I just didn't know how to express it!!
We have used a very relaxed Charlotte Mason/ AmblesideOnline attitude in our studies , but I honestly we have almost "struggled" for 3 years in homeschool- while I agree with alot of Ms. Mason's ideas.. I have never been able to "get it right". We have spent (wasted) alot of money trying to find the right approach to our kids education, It never occured to me to use what should be most obvious-classics!!
Wish me luck, I have to research a bit more on this, before we jump..but I really feel this is a better way.
How would you describe the
Madmend, how would you describe the relationship you have with your daughter?
Starting with Older Children
CM taught in schools and taught teachers how to teach in schools. Here parent review was more about application of her ideas by different people in their homes. If you were trying to do her school approach that can leave you winded...
I started my 26 yo dd when she was 11 with Cm and within 6 months came to TJED and have used both since. That is because CM is a method and TJEd is a set of Developmental phases and Education principles, and not a method per se. CM talk a lot about habits and habitudes. She also talks about the need for children to be outside. Classics,Nature walks, Nature Studies, Nature Notebooks, Narrations, "Picture Painting," and Copy work are all pre-composition activities. She does not even start composition until about puberty.
Developmental Phases: Life is going from one transition to another, from core to love of learning, to the dance of practice scholar, into project scholar, to independent scholar, to mentored scholar, to depth to mission, to impact... These are not intelligence based. They are not age based. To some extant they are delayed based on the number of distractions and are impacted by maturity.
Educational Principles: These are applied differently depending on the phase the child is in.
* Inspire, not require- the idea of lead me, guide me, walk beside me
* You, not them- I see this as hand in hand with inspire not require, as when they are younger you need to lead and move forward, the amount of time you will have is dependent on number of children and phases they are in.
* Quality, not quantity- This is taught through working together while they are young and then carries into other endeavors and academics later.
* Classics, not textbooks- Classics are so rich and the scriptures are the foundation.
* Mentors, not Professors- more of the lead me guide me stuff. Professors seem to be big on lecture instead of example.
* Simplicity, not complexity- the more complex the program the higher the failure rate. Simplicity is a very powerful concept, by small and simple things are great things brought to pass...
* Structure time, not content- Structure your family rhythms so that you have time set aside to learn and explore. When we focus on a set amount of content we are not regarding how the mind an attention of a child works. Expose your children to ideas, museums, people, libraries, music, and more. Let them explore what interests them. Remember it is hard to explore something you have never been exposed to. Experiment and let your children experiment with arts, music, numbers. Do not confuse interest with practice scholar and project scholar. Younger children are more like butterflies. Tie them down to formal lessons at the first sign of interest and you can shut them down.
Freedom really does work if you have a mother who is ever learning and exploring and inviting children along. This is not unschooling. I am not suggest you study long hours to be the example and leave interesting things on the coffee table and hope they get interested. You need to be interested in life and learning and inviting them along with you. explore other classics: God's creations (the out of doors, aviaries, marine parks, mountains, lakes...), music, concerts, plays, museums, gardening, even the dishes, or weeding. While you do, listen to their wonder, share your passion. Learning can be so exciting.
OK forgive my fire hose answer. After my website is up, I will address baby steps.
What about a difficult 13 year old?
I consumed your comment with vigor and know I have a long way to go. We have 5 children, the oldest just turned 13. I pulled her out of public school in January against her will, as a result of scary bad choices and bad situations. I had just started homeschooling the younger four kids, ages 11 down to 3, the September before, and had just read the TJed book the day before I pulled her out. Very new at homeschooling, but I believe this can work, I'm just fumbling and trying so hard to learn. We read our central classic every morning, followed by other classics. Deep down I'm scared to death and struggling to juggle everything, for the summer that is all we are doing, reading our classics, and spending lots of time at the library and out in nature.
The boy crazy 13 year old is extremely resistant. The only thing she can think about is getting back to public school, even 6 months after I pulled her out. Still has some negative friend influences, we are hoping to move away from the area soon, but that may or may not solve the problem. I initially told her I may consider letting her go back after one year at home. I now realize I am probably crippling her by giving her any hope of going back. My husband is convinced home schooling is the way to go and is very supportive. Any ideas on inspiring an extremely resistant teenager? Are there any resources out there specific to my situation?
I wish I could talk to you all in person!
I am so glad I found this website and this support I desperately need. I pulled my 8y/o dd and my 12y/o son out of ps this year. My son went to one year of middle school and I feel like I will never be able to UN-DO what has been done. He too was hanging out with the wrong crowd, girl obsessed, failing everything and making life very unpleasant at home. My husband and I both are excited about this new chapter in our life and about starting the TJED, but I am getting more nervous everyday.
Neither of our families are very supportive of this and I am having a hard time finding the motivation and confidence booster I need to begin. My dd is looking forward to it but my son reminds me DAILY that not only am I ruining his life by doing this and that he will never forgive me for it. ( although as his mom I know both are not true)
My fears are that I am starting to late and that I will end up feeling like this whole hs thing was a bad idea. It is so comforting to hear that madmend and many others are getting a late start as well...it gives me hope!
Never too late
It's never too late to start; a homeschool class presenter said it this way: In ten years where will you be? Obviously you'll be ten years older, and your children will be ten years older. You can keep doing what you were doing, or you can start now to educate yourself and invite your children along. If you set the example, your children will want it, too. But even if they refuse to learn anything in those ten years, YOU will have more knowledge and understanding. And you will plant the seeds of growth in your children.
They're called children because they don't have an adult's experience or perspective. They need you, whether they recognize it or not. It's harder to be an example to someone who's rebelling, but it's worth doing. They need to see that these changes are important to you.
A Little Hope
Can I offer you a little hope based on my own teenage experience? My kids aren't old enough yet for me to offer any guidance on that end, but I can still remember my rebellious years a decade ago. I would say that the things you are doing are right, you just won't see the results right away. My mom really struggled when she saw me making unwise choices and did a lot of things that maybe weren't the wisest in her fear for me. However, she kept trying and kept loving me. Though all I saw at the time was her frustration at me and her mistakes, I knew she loved me and when I really needed to, I went to her for help. I believe your love for your daughter will eventually get through to her. It's the most powerful tool you have to help this situation but it does take time. That's the big difference between TJed and the public schooling system: TJed is all about lovingly guiding the student. That's why it works.
Media
I feel for you, madmend. In trying to teach your daughter more appropriate behavior and better relationships, you are bucking everything this selfish, consumerist society says. You are wise to return to studying your core classic and putting it into practice in your own life.
Rose is right that it will take time, a lot of time. Think about how long your dd has been exposed to the whole boy-crazy thing and realize that she will need a lot of time and patience to reset her personal values. I was talking with a friend who has not dated her husband in about 10 years; I told her she needed to strengthen her marriage relationship or she would lose it. I also asked her if she hears about the importance of faithfulness from anyone else. She stopped, shocked, and said, no, she values marriage but no one around her encourages strong, permanent relationships. It made us both sad to realize.
My particular concern for you is in media. You're returning to your core classic and trying to live it, but does the media coming into your home reinforce it? If you have commercial television, consider getting rid of it. There is almost nothing worthwhile on it, and the commercials wear away relationships like acid. Look at the movies and videos your family sees. Look at the Youtube videos and social sites your family goes to. Are you in control of this media or is it controlling you?
media
I agree with this-- we have taken steps to correct this in our own home(including throwing out T.V.), it was not easy, but it has been worth the effort to us.
{Please don't get frustrated with teaching your daughter! I have a (step) daughter that I love dearly, I tried my very best to show her a better way. I had to battle a wild Bio-mom,and a guilt -ridden father to do it, but she did listen, and doing better in her choices.}
Welcome!
This is really a process of change, and I'm glad you're looking to find what will work best right now for yourself and your children. I've been trying to improve our homeschool ever since we started 10 years ago; now we're seeing some of the results of classics and mentoring, and also the results of my bad habits (I tend to forget to hold children accountable for what they commit to do). But we go on from here, not beating ourselves up over the past. I'm trying to do better.
I understand about wasting money on resources that don't work out. Truthfully, as expensive as the TJED books are, and as expensive as it can be to assemble and use a lot of classics, the payoff is enormous. We are raising people of principle, people of substance, people who hopefully will not be easily misled, because their roots go deep into true principles, expressed in classics. And what is more, classics spur us to take action--to do something about it, in the same way that _Uncle Tom's Cabin_ opened the eyes and hearts of people in the 1850s.
I hope you find the mentoring you need to help you change. We have been greatly blessed by clinging to our core classic (my core is scriptures). And while it is a lot of work, it is worthwhile to be present and active in our children's lives. They and we become better. Good luck!