A Summer Upgrade!: The Weekly Mentor by Oliver DeMille

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Seasons and Lessons

my-family-coloring-page-2I recently saw two different ads in the same magazine that immediately made me think of TJEd. More to the point, they made me think of TJEd parents, youth, and kids, and what they are planning for the summer ahead. Here’s what I learned, and what I did about it:

  1. The first ad simply read: “This summer I…”

The rest was left blank. People had to fill in the answer for themselves.

“What a great way to get us thinking,” I thought.

Try it for yourself, and for each of the young people in your home:

  • This is the summer I need to…
  • This is the summer Johnny needs to…
  • This is the summer Mary needs to…

Seriously, try getting out a piece of paper and writing this down. It’s powerful and effective mentoring. [Do check out that link to avoid common pitfalls in “summer assignments!”]

When I applied this to each of our kids who still live at home, the results were spectacular! This will be a very different summer for Meri, Abi, Hyrum, and Ammon—just because I asked this question, found answers, and got the kids engaged in a dialogue about what they feel their summer should be about.

Of course, I didn’t just announce decrees to them. That’s not the TJEd way. Just discussing what I felt when I asked the question, and asking each young person to answer the same question for themselves, has each of them really excited about major summer learning.

Give it a try! It works.

Leaving the Negative

  1. In a second magazine ad I read the following: “It’s time to break up with your belly.” The ad was selling diet drinks that are full of sugar, but the catchy line got me thinking.

Specifically: What is it time for you to “break up with” right now? (You know, that thing that’s holding you back from having the greatest homeschool in the world. That thing that just keeps getting in the way. That thing you know you should have changed a long time ago.)

Likewise: What is it time for your kids to “break up with” right now?

Whatever it is, just asking the question and knowing the answer will make a huge positive difference. Breaking up with things that have outlived their usefulness will make it so much easier for Abi, Meri, and Ammon to do item #1 above!

Warning: This can be sensitive for some people, including children and youth, so proceed prayerfully and positively. I didn’t just inform Ammon that he needs to break up with something. I asked him what he thinks he needs to “break up with” right now—what it’s time to put behind him for a while.

He was very thoughtful about it, and asked if he could get back to me in a few days. I’m excited to hear what he decides.

Upgrading Life

These questions are so simple. Yet they are exactly the kind of mentoring questions that great mentors pose (like the mentor questions in the appendix of The Student Whisperer). Asking and answering them can greatly help make this a much better summer for our kids.

This doesn’t take a lot of work, and it doesn’t cost anything. But simple mentoring questions like these—and a little bit of follow up—can make a huge difference in the lives of those we mentor. It’s often the little things that have the greatest impact, after all.

Try these two simple questions with your kids. Ask them directly:

  • For you, Mary, this is the summer you should…?
  • What is it time for you to “break up with”?

These are really just another way of doing “The 6 Month No” and “The 6 Month Yes” ingredients in our book Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning. But for your kids, these catchy questions will probably seem a lot more fun. They certainly did for our kids.

By doing this (It’s so simple! Just ask each of your kids to answer two simple questions, and then make some plans based on their answers!) you’ll create a significant Summer Upgrade this year!

About the Author:

Rachel is the co-author of Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning and the audio series Core and Love of Learning: A Recipe for Success, and the author of the award-winning educational resource, This Week in History. She is an accomplished musician, writer, literary editor, public speaker, consultant and momschool organizer.

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